First Day at Work [Short Fiction]

I’m not dead yet. I live in a new place with a new person in a new life but I’m still writing. This particular piece was written two weeks ago on my first day at work and since then I’ve been reading and writing like a machine. At present a severe lack of internet hamstrings my online presence, but come back every Saturday and I’ll have a pretty picture for you to look at. Who knows, perhaps you’ll even honour me by reading the words.


First Day at Work by Imran Lorgat

Hi, my name is Fred. Hi guys. Fred is an Actuary. Actually. I do Actuarial things. I Actuarialize things. I speak Actuarialese.

But actually I’m more of a performer. I perform. I entertain. Are you entertained? Some sorcerers can make a dove disappear right in front of your eyes. I punch numbers into a computer and blow your mind. “How did he do that?” He he he. A good magician never reveals his secrets.

Smile, smile, “Hi”, “Hi”, “Nice to meet you”, “Nice to meet you too”. Rinse, repeat, round and round the roulette. New faces, new places and new spaces.

Ethics: do you have them?

Today my boss told me that we’re all just cogs in a machine. Sorry boss, we’re all just machines, together we make a cog.

Meet the Gregs.

There’s a guy on my floor who earns enough to buy a new BMW each month. Taking annual bonuses into account, he earns three times that amount. There’s a janitor downstairs who’s been working here for 40 years and doesn’t earn half as much as I do.

Welcome to the Corporate World.

Enjoy your stay

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